Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Mullets, Chopsticks & Aunt Flow

On this windy humpday in Texas I'm linking up with funny lady, Kathy. You can find her being a total badass over at Vodka and Soda. This week I'm confessing a lot of randomness, at the same time crossing my fingers we can all still be friends after you realize I'm not cool. :)

-I fake bake...Mainly because tan fat looks better than white fat! Plus...Michael is Hispanic so if he wants to be darker than me, it takes him a whole 2.6 seconds of being outside and he's darker than me!

-I'm probably hungover...if I am wearing large sunglasses and my hair looks like I was just attacked by monkeys.

-I have an app on my phone that tracks when “Aunt Flow” will be around. Next week if anyone was curious?

-The other day I googled Epic Mullets…So educational.

-My husband called me a drunk last week….he might be right, Lane named off the only beer and wine I drink. 
 But we can’t get him to remember spelling words!? 

-My 59 year old mother is active on Instagram and Facebook...and knows more about Facebook then myself.

-When I was a youngster, I wanted to be a dolphin trainer.

-I am 28 years old and I do not know how to use or read Twitter.

-This week I downloaded not just one but two Limp Bizkit songs. #Iwasntdrunkeither

-I do not believe in chopsticks…I use a fork when I eat sushi. Mainly because when I eat I’m trying to shovel as much food in my pie hole at once and chopsticks restrict my form of eating.

-Sometimes when people drive under the speed limit in the fast lane...I get the urge to throat punch them at their next stop.

Happy Humpday, friends! :) Be sure and go link-up at Vodka and Soda for Humpday Confessions!

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  2. i'm asian and hate chopsticks. what is wrong with my people in that they use two fucking sticks to eat?? how efficient is that? IT'S NOT, THAT'S WHAT. however, i love that when we're out at asian (korean, japanese etc) restaurants and i ask for a fork, they come and give the fork to my (white) husband hahahahah! he's all down with the chopsticks and anything asian and i think he pretends that he's asian as well.

    thanks for linking up!!

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

  3. I always wear dark sunglasses and have hair that puts the messy in messy bun. I may perpetually be hungover...

    Who doesn't google epic mullets?

  4. My Mom is on FB too which is why I am pretty much off of it. I had to go to Twitter and IG to escape her. I eat sushi with a fork too. I look like a blind person trying to eat with chopsticks, like for the life of me I can't connect the food with my mouth before dropping it.

  5. Haha! I have that app too! And now I want to Google epic mullets.

  6. Hey Kristin!! Your talking my language lol! Sober is lame! j/k (Or not) ;p My FB name should literally be changed to Lush.. But who's counting right? lol!


  7. Don't fake bake!! I used to work at a tanning salon and became addicted to fake and bake. Then I saw older people come in. I noticed how horrible their skin was and decided I didn't want that to be me! If I'm going on vacation to a hot climate, I'll fake bake to get a pre-tan so I don't burn. But that's it.

    I have Twitter and I don't get it. You're not alone. Same deal with chopsticks.

  8. Im a fake baker too in the summer time too! I completely agree fat looks so much better tan!!

  9. BIGGEST pet peeve is when people don't use the passing lane correctly!!! Definitely some road rage happening then!

  10. I don't like chopsticks either. I won't use them. Takes too long.

    I do like Twitter though.

  11. I love fake n bake tanning so much! Honestly though, we get NO sun out here in the PNW for most of the year, so I really have no choice. But I haven't been able to do it this winter since being pregnant and I'm totally having withdrawals!

  12. Ugh, you're right. Tanning is so bad for you but looks sooooo much better!

  13. I recently discovered tanning changer. Never move to FL....I want to throat punch people all the time and then I pull up next to them and it's like an 80 year old person and then I feel bad but not....all at the same time.

  14. Bahahahaha... Limp Bizkit... man, those were the good ol' days!

  15. Were the songs Break Stuff and My Way? Because I still like those songs. #noshame I quit fake baking last year but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it! Everyone looks better tan, it's science.

  16. You gotta get on Twitter :). And LOL on the chopsticks. I eat faster with them but then, I'm Asian and was practically born with a pair in my hands ;). Found ya via Kathy's linkup.

  17. You speak my language of road rage. I like it! I am still trying to get used to twitter too. Cant we just bring back Myspace? Jk...sort of.

    I used to fake bake in college but then I got too paranoid about skin problems. Plus my mom would lecture me like I was 5 every time she saw me. Pasty is the new sexy, haven't you heard? Seriously though, this year I am going to try all these self tanning lotions in bottles and see if I can get a little color so I dont look ghostly.

  18. UGH slow drivers are the worst! Right up there with assholes who decide to merge at the last second! And sober? Correct, that is not fun. Especially when we're talking about being around my future sister-in-law. LOL.I know, I'm just awful...