Who's Your Padre!?

Well we made it out alive...barely. I finally got home from my girls only beach trip to South Padre Island and I am wore slap out. I would have wrote this post earlier but instead I have been racking my brain on how 1 man can dirty an entire house in a week! So you guys can blame Michael for my extended absence. But I am happy to be home even though I had a fabulous time with some awesome ladies that I adore! This year there were 10 of us so we decided to rent out the penthouse in our condo...which resulted in me singing "I'm So Fancy" all week. Apologizes to all. 

The beach at South Padre is by far the prettiest of all Texas beaches.

There were a few downfalls...like when I was so hungover that I nearly tossed my cookies in a toddler's sand bucket on the beach. I really don't understand why I do that to myself!! I know I'm gonna feel like shit the next day but I still think I am a badass and can handle it. Once again I failed. :) Or there was the group of speedo wearing old men who planted their asses in the sand beside us. Who gave me the urge to toss my cookies again...this time without the help of alcohol!

By the end of the week I was so bloated from the fabulous food and all the alcohol consumed that I had to get right back to eating like a rabbit as soon as I got home. But I really think I could live on fish tacos for the rest of my life, then these had grilled zucchini and squash with them. Yummy!

Result of all the alcohol comsumed by my drunk ass...ducklips. 

Rolling Rock in a frosty glass..thank you beer gods!!

This should explain a lot...

All and all it was a great vacation filled with fabulous food, tons of alcohol and sun kissed tans! 

Be sure and stop by the Blog Baton Instagram tomorrow, yours truly will be taking it over for the day! 

Humpday Confessions

It's Humpday! Yay! That means that when I have the time I am linking up with fellow badass Kathy @ Vodka and Soda for her weekly Humpday Confessions linkup party. Since it's been awhile since I have told y'all about my dirty and weird confessions andddd I am on this new journey to drop some pounds from my ass. I decided I would share my health and fitness confessions with you guys this week. :) 

I confess...that when I eat clean, I poop a lot. It's like my body hates me for all the junk food and alcohol I have ever put in my body.

I confess...that if I see you at the gym with a full face of makeup, a coke in your hand, hair curled and your walking at a pace of 1.1 on the treadmill...I am most certainly giving you the side-eye and judging you at the same time! 

I confess...that I have had dreams of face planting on the treadmill, with a giant treadmill facial burn included. 

I confess...that I think I am burning more calories in some bizarre way when I eat spicy foods. 

I confess...that I get on the scale after I poop to see how much weight I have lost. 

I confess...that I will not run in public because my boobies are to big and I am not trying to give myself a black eye with small children around. 

What are some of y'all's fitness or health confessions??

Don't forget to go visit Kathy and the rest of the cool kids on the link-up! 

Ryan really wants to see you! 

Sriracha Broccoli

Happy Tuesday friends! 
Since sriracha is one of my favorite things on earth and broccoli is my favorite veggie, I just had to try this recipe that combines the two.

It's been said that I am a horrible cook but this recipe was even easy for me...and that's saying a lot! I made it a few weeks ago, and if you follow my Instagram you saw that I paired this side dish with a salmon fillet covered in roasted salsa. It was just Michael and I for dinner so I added a little more sriracha than what the recipe actually calls for since we like things hot and spicy....you know kinda like us! :)) 

Ingredients:

3 Heads of Broccoli

2 Tbs Soy Sauce

2 Tsp Sesame Seed Oil

3 Tbs Sriracha (your choice on how spicy you want it. Use 1 1/2 tbs for less spicy

1 Garic Clove

Handful of Crushed Peanuts (15 peanuts or so)

Black Pepper, to taste

1. Preheat the oven to 400°.

2. Cut the broccoli from the stalk into small florets and wash & dry well.

3. In a large bowl, mix all the seasonings and diced garlic together.

4. Coat the broccoli evenly.

5. Put the seasoned broccoli onto a baking pan.

6. Bake for 15 minutes, but remember to toss it half way through.

7. Serve with extra crushed peanuts on top!

***No reason to worry if broccoli is brown, cooked soy sauce turns it brown.