Aunt Flow, Cheetos & Box Wine

Hey Y'all! 

I have so missed this link-up...about as much as I miss fatty foods while dieting! And just so were clear that's ALOT! I always know I can get a damn good laugh on Wednesdays with all you funny ladies!

I confess...that I opened a bottle of wine at 3:00 on Monday and it was gone by 5:30 when Michael was just getting home from work. And I don't regret it one damn bit...

I confess...I’ve contemplated becoming an full-time alcoholic to lose weight. My Aunts live on box wine and never gain a pound but if I eat celery I gain 3. 

I confess...that I could eat Flamin' Cheetos every. damn. day. They are like a spicy drug for me. 

I confess...that since Aunt Flow is here for the week....I have been a RAGING BITCH! My whole body hurts, I'm hot, and I need these ninjas removed from my ovaries.  

I confess...with Michael and I trying to eat healthier I told him he better not lose more weight than me, but if he were to ever tell me I better not get too fat, I would throat punch him in his fucking sleep! 

With my 1 year blog anniversary coming up next week, I hope all y'all join my $25 Visa gift card giveaway that went live TODAY! :) 

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Confessions of a Real Bag Lady...

This week for Humpday Confessions, I am taking you ladies to a dark place that some of my closest friends don’t have any clue about…

The inside of my purse.

My purse is major OFF LIMITS to everyone. Period. It’s a weird pet-peeve of mine that my purse needs to remain MY purse so I don’t want anyone else’s grubby paws in it! But for the sake of my new friendships with you all, I am going to TELL you what deep dark/strange/personal items I carry around daily…just don’t ever go exploring in my purse because I might will cut you.

Wine Opener…If you have read my blog for longer than 2.2 seconds this one explains itself. I drink wine. I like to be prepared to drink wine. I have snacks for Michael and band aids for Lane, soooo if you ask me...We are pretty much ready for anything.

Deodorant-Since I sweat like a grown ass man, this is a must-have. Actually in the

summers, I openly do pit checks every hour on the hour.

Spanx…I do not want to try on and buy that cute little fitted dress unless I know how it is really going to look after I put on my body armor. You best believe, if I could get my DD size strapless bra in my purse and it not fall out at Lane's meet the teacher night, I would mostly definitely have it in there as well…

2012 W-2’s…How in the world I have carried around a copy of Michael’s 2012 W-2 for over a year in my purse is still a mystery to me…a mystery and accomplishment at the same time. #winning

Pregnancy Test…you never know when you might be prego.

Those are just a few of the items in my purse...I also have a 1,004 bobby pins, tanning lotion, crushed red pepper, lip plumber, a speeding ticket, paper clips, 9 pairs of earrings, my passport, and probably 20 headbands. :)

Five On Friday

Happy Friday!!

This is first time in a longtime that I am linking up with the lovely Darci over at The Good Life, for Five on Friday.

{One}

Last night was Lane’s first junior high dance and the first time the hubs and I were able to help him get ready and take him to something like this. It was such a sweet moment for us. The best part for me was when he got home and told me all about the dance and what all girls he danced with. I swear I could of cried...

 

{Two}

Lately I have been obsessing over shoes, which is probably nothing new; it is just until now that I can acknowledge I have a problem. This week while drooling on my keyboard, I found these fabulous boots! I have always been so afraid to wear an ankle boot but these are so fantastic that I don’t even care if I look like a wannabe country hipster! Told you before I was a rebel!

 

{Third}

I put my 3 week notice in at work!!! Helllll to the Yesss! I guess I should go forward with the dream of auditioning for Real Housewives of Texas because I would be the ideal wife for the show! I am only missing the ridiculous amounts of dolla billz, a closet like Lisa Vanderpump’s and love for drama. But maybe they would make an exception.

{Four}

The joy that comes over me when I find long wine aisles with allll my favorite wines is the same feeling I had when I was 7 years old waking up on Christmas morning. -REAL TALK-

{Five}

My cousin’s fiancée was able to make the drive up to my sister’s bridal shower this past weekend and I just absolutely adore her! She is so much fun and fits in perfectly with our loud and outspokenfamily. I am so glad she is joining our family in May!

 

When no one is looking...

Good Morning Lovebugs! 

With the Hubs working some crazy hours lately and giving baseball lessons when he is actually off work, I have found myself at home more often then I use to. So, I got to thinking about the things I do when I'm by myself and decided to share a few with you guys.

 I really hope we can all still be friends after this this. :)

When no one is looking…

-I talk to myself in the bath room mirror to see how my face looks while I’m talking.

-I google how to spell….ALOT.

-I put on my favorite pants and check out my ass.

-I have very long and deep conversations with my dog.

-I watch Honey Boo Boo...

-I also smell my dog's paws, because they smell weird! 

-I dance like Beyonce while I’m checking out what is in the fridge.

-I have ate PB & J sandwiches for breakfast.

-I practice accents, if I can’t look like Sofia Vergara I will just try to sound like her.

-I will make faces or mouth words when my husband turns around.

-I have drank wine out of the bottle.

Happy Tuesday!

Make Today Great! :)

Just A Little Reminder

As I sat around last night with my second glass of wine, hubby watching the Rangers and the dog asleep on the dirty clothes pile that I decided wasn't going to get done, I was reminded again that I have a pretty darn good life! 

Mainly because I get to indulge in wine on a everyday frequent basis. 

Can I get an AMEN?!

Secondly, I genuinely have good people in my life! Starting with my awesome parents who I miss already because they moved to OHIO last week for a job. 

Thirdly, I have a man who loves me dearly...even though he thinks its absolutely hilarious to hold me hostage in my car with a water hose! 5 minutes later and the ipad as a shield I made it in the door with only my shoes wet...

Fourthly...(is that a word? It looks weird). My quest this month to let shit go is...lets just say its a work in progress. STILL.

Happy Humpdaaaaay! Hope everyone is having a FABULOUS week!